Blushing my way through life
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” — Arthur Ashe, tennis great and humanitarian.
When I was young, shy, introverted, self-involved and self-conscious, I blushed easily and often. And by blush, I mean a hideous shade of red that made my cheeks burn. It caused people to ask me if I a) had a sunburn or b) a fever. Either question would just make me blush even more from my neck to the top of my head.
When I mentioned how awful this was to my parents, they responded with, “You’ll outgrow it.” That was also the standard response for sore knees, the tendency for my heart to beat rapidly at times and shyness around strangers that was the opposite of my noisy, questioning and opinionated approach to life at home.
I did, more or less, outgrow all those things. I can still blush more easily and thoroughly than most people (once red haired, always red haired) but either I’m less embarrassing to myself or my skin really has gotten thicker. I would like to still blame any pain in my knees to growing pains (you’ll outgrow that), but know that now it’s because I stepped off a curb oddly or twisted into a yoga position farther than I should have or chased down a tennis ball when I should have just let it go. I haven’t had a heart-thumping anxiety attack in decades even when standing up in front of group to speak.
I still think I’m shyer than many and certainly more introverted although sometimes people seem surprised when I say I’m either. Growing out of it sometimes involves learning to move beyond your first impulses.
Shy children are easy to spot. They’re the ones who wrap themselves behind a parent’s leg when they come into the library bookstore where I volunteer. Even so, I always make a point of quietly telling them where they can pick out a book for free even if the mom or dad is already telling me, “She’s shy.” I don’t say, “She’ll outgrow it.” It might not be true, and even if it is, it’s probably already been said.
I sometimes wish though that I could hand that child a card with those wise words from Arthur Ashe. Even now, in these crazy times when so many of us feel like we’re on the verge of a permanent anxiety attack, these words comfort and inspire. “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Do it even if you blush, cry or want to run away.
I was a “blusher” in my youth, too. Although I can’t ever recall being shy. I think some “shy” children are just more observant or good listeners.